Reactions

Recently I shared with an online writing group that I always find it hard when I happen to kill off a character. I had made the decision to do so, but when it came time to write the scene, it was hard not to get caught up in the emotion of it all. Even with the reactions of the others in the scene, there were tears in my eyes.

As writers we like to be able to evoke reactions from our readers. Regardless of the sentiment, we want our readers to be involved in the scene they’re reading. We want them to be invested so that they read on. Yet if we can make ourselves become invested in the emotion then I think we’re doing a good job. If we can’t react to what’s happening to our characters, then how can we expect our readers to? It’s irrelevant as to the emotion. If our characters are having a good time, then we should feel happy. If they are struggling, we should feel the tension. If they cry, we cry. If they laugh, we should too.

Even though we are the writer and we know what’s about to happen, we still have to think of our readers and make sure that we describe what’s happening clearly and concisely. Paint enough of a picture for them to draw solid outline but leave enough to their imagination to fill in the details.

This is the scene I wrote:

‘Can you take us to the Ruby Lewis Medical Facility on Jackson Blvd, as urgently as is legally possible?’ asked Brendan.

The driver nodded and soon he was whisking them across town. Being so late at night, there wasn’t a lot of traffic and they made it in about ten minutes.

Brendan paid the driver, found out where Will was, and they quietly proceeded to his room.

When they entered, all his team were there.

Alinda had already started to get teary and he could see that Josh and Charlie weren’t far behind.

Brendan walked up to the bed and took Will’s hand.

‘I’m here, little brother,’ he said calmly.

Will opened his eyes, but Brendan could see they were already fading.

‘Thanks for coming, Brendan,’ he croaked. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t get out of the way quick enough, but I was certain that I saw Nathen walking along the tarmac underneath the concourse.’

‘You did see him,’ said Brendan. ‘We also picked up his tag. We will find out who did this to you and to us. You know what we’re like.’

Will closed his eyes again and his breathing became shallow. Brendan signalled for the others to come to the bedside. They all placed a hand on Will as he took his last breath and slipped away from them.

Alinda turned and buried her head in Charlie’s chest and sobbed. He hugged her and was crying into her hair. Brendan and Josh hugged tightly. Brendan caught sight of Kathy out of the corner of his eye, came over to her and hugged and wept onto her head.

As they grieved, a nurse entered the private room, checked Will and confirmed what they already knew.

No one wanted to leave, but the medical facility needed to move the body. The team eventually went back to Brendan and Kathy’s hotel room.

Reading it now, I didn’t get the same reaction, but at the time it was difficult to write. Yet if I was to read this again in a few weeks or months, I will react. It’s a simple scene, but no less powerful and character-affecting.

Don’t be afraid to write strongly emotional and evocative scenes. You may need to try several times to get them down but get them down you must. They add so much depth to your work, if applicable.

Write with feeling.

Cry with passion.

Pleasant day, reader.